Budget meeting disaster
January 12th, 2009 at 08:56 pmWell, my wife and I met last night to discuss our 2009 budget. We have been talking about this for several months (pretty much since we got married in 2008). We have put off discussing finances until now because I wanted her to pay off some credit card debt prior to the discussion (I wanted an accurate picture of the cash she would have available to save).
We both completed spreadsheets listing how much we spend on various living expenses and how much we save. Personally, I felt like completing the spreadsheet was a waste of time because I've always kept track of these items in my head. Nothing really surprised me. My wife did the same thing. When we got together, we both went over our sheets. After that discussion, I didn't know how to proceed further. It occurred to me that I had no clue about what to discuss in a budget meeting. I didn't want to change any of my habits; I feel like I save an adequate amount, and I am not frivolous with my money. I am not unhappy with my wife's financial choices although her credit card debt of $1400 from our wedding really upsets me (as I've never had cc debt).
My question to you all is what topics should be discussed at a budget meeting? Part of the problem is that we earn drastically different amounts of money. Me saving 20% is much easier than her saving 20% (I am a lawyer; she works for a non-profit). One of her biggest gripes is that her lifestyle costs have increased since she met me. She used to save a lot more because she ate cereal every night and lived with her brother. Now she lives in a more expensive house and I like to cook gourmet food (a hobby of mine). I can't fault her for not saving as much money given her increased standard of living. How should I reconcile this problem?
When she does set aside money, we disagree on how to invest the money. For her, putting the money in the bank is the best way to save money. I prefer tax advantaged accounts. Because of our vastly different educational levels on investing, I feel like it's a lost cause trying to explain the advantages of roth IRAs/403(b)s etc. The overarching problem is that I am much more visionary when it comes to long-term financial planning. How can I overcome these problems? Any advice from the long-time married individuals would be appreciated!